"BEWARE OF AMPUTATION," or,
LITTLE-KNOWN CHRISTMAS HAZARDS

Ah, Christmas.

Considering that you probably have your own holiday stories that you are, understandably, more interested in than you are in mine, I'll simply pass on some valuable advice that we received this year during holiday gift-opening.

My husband, Fred, got something he wanted this year--a Flexi-Lead. It's one of those dog leashes that consists of a handle with a retractable leash, so the dog can swerve around at will while you walk. Fred wanted one for when he walks our big lab.

After opening it, he read the directions. You'd think a dog leash would be a no-brainer, right? Think again. This baby requires instruction, caution, and, quite possibly, protective head gear.

You are instructed to wear gloves when using the leash, to wear long pants when using the leash. Going against instructions and wrapping the leash around your fingers can result in, and I quote, amputation. There's a nifty little "amputation hazard" symbol all over the place on the packaging, consisting of a black hand with string wrapped around a couple of fingers and a red no-no line across the palm. What will they think of next?

My favorite line refers to what you should do if your dog starts running while on the leash: "If your dog starts running, immediately press the brake button and prepare yourself for a jolt."

People who move to this country and become consumers must be in for some confusion. According to the instructions, our Flexi-Lead looks more dangerous than, say, our blender or our bathroom heater. For that matter, our mini-van didn't come with such stern safety admonitions.