FENDING OFF MCDONALD'S

All the kids being in school hasn't turned out quite like I thought it would.

I used to fantasize about that First Day of School for Francie. Two years ago, I thought I'd go to a flea market that day. I like flea markets, but I could never go because taking a couple of three-year-olds along kind of takes the enjoyment out of the experience, at least for me. ("Don't touch that, don't break that, no you can't have that"--repeat 500 times. Leave store. Decide you won't go back until the First Day of School, two years from now.)

Two months ago, I thought I'd spend the day lounging around reading the new Harry Potter book. Unlike a lot of Harry Potter fans, I didn't read the book the weekend it was released. I was saving it so I could enjoy the ultimate reading experience, the peace and quiet of the Big Day. As it turned out, I gave up and got through the last week BEFORE school started by reading the new Harry Potter book, as a means of mental escape from the chaos surrounding me.

I've decided that the First Day of School for your youngest child is not the drastic break that it seems it might be. Instead, it's just one of the larger stepping stones on the path of Life Change.

There probably is a big difference in the way your life feels, between the month your youngest turns two, and the month your youngest turns twelve. But you get there slowly, so you don't notice so much. Kind of like, the way you think your life has changed when your first baby is a week old turns out to not really be much like the way your life has changed when your first baby is four and your second one is two and your mother-in-law moved in sometime in between.

I had a point, I think. What was it? Oh, yeah. McDonald's.

Now that I have weekday hours available, I've been thinking that I really should get a job. I have no more excuse to be home--no babies to watch.

I didn't finish college. I don't know how to work a fax machine. I 'm dreadful in interviews, because I'm so terrified by the prospect of a job interview that I freeze like a deer in headlights. Therefore, my options are limited.

A couple of our local McDonald's do offer what they call "Mom" hours--work while your kids are in school. And you can fill out the application online, getting a head start before you have to actually talk to an actual person.

We could really really use the money if I went to work full-time or close to it, even at six bucks an hour. But geez, McDonald's . . . I don't even like to eat there.

I've successfully postponed filling out the online application for one more day. After all, I've been busy. I had to write this.