DIETING

I am mad and cranky and I hate everyone.

Fred and I are doing Atkins. Today was the third day. Supposedly after about four days, you start burning off some of that ugly fat. So you can't cheat, because your body is supposedly getting into this fat-burning mode, and eating carbs will screw the whole thing up and you'll have to start over.

I just want to be able to buy jeans that fit and to be more comfortable, okay? Fat isn't comfortable.

But I absolutely hate dieting. If I go off carbs, I am utterly exhausted, depressed, and also a tad homicidal.

They say that after a week, you get over this. I kinda doubt it. I tried doing low-carb for two weeks once. I really did lose weight, but I never got to liking it.

I want a gallon of Coke with ice, a pepperoni pizza, and a batch of chocolate-chip cookies. In that order. Now.