INSANITY

There are some things that put me completely over the edge. I screech, I wail, I want to throw stuff. I can plod around calmly for hours, putting toys away, taking care of the pets, and collecting laundry from the floors where people throw their clothes rather than taking thirty extra seconds to make it to a hamper. Then I find something I just really do not want to deal with, and I freak.

For example: Not to gross you out or anything, but there are those occasions when someone doesn't flush, and then I find the dog refreshing himself from the toilet. I go nuts.

Another thing that puts me over the edge isn't so easy to explain. If I had to put it into words, I guess I'd call it "When I don't watch the little girls as we leave the house to get in the car and then we get where we were going and I find out they have tangled hair, mismatched clothes, totally inappropriate footwear, and no coats, and nobody else noticed."

I don't blame the little girls, you see. They are ages six and seven. They have enough to do just getting on clothes and finding shoes. And Lillie will brush her hair if she can find a brush.

No, it's the fact that no one else noticed any of this that make me want to tear my hair out. The little girls walked out to the car with Daddy and several older siblings (none of whom paid any attention to what the little girls looked like) while Mom was rushing around looking for the checkbook or putting the dogs away or something. Then Mom rushes out to the car, gets in the front seat, and doesn't realize until she gets where she's going that the two smallest children look like we just picked them up at a homeless shelter. And nobody else cares.

The last time this happened was last winter (I guess the fact that it was that long ago shows you that I usually take the time to make sure they have everything they need before we go anywhere). I almost never see a movie in a movie theater--we go to a movie on Christmas Day, and that's pretty much the only time I go to a theater. But last winter, I wanted to see "National Treasure II" at the theater. I liked "National Treasure." I wanted to see the sequel on the big screen.

I managed to arrange for everyone to go to see NT II together one Sunday night when the movie was on at the Palace, the local $2.50 theater. We got everyone out of the house. I was last, because I was turning off lights and stuff like that. Then we got there, and I realized that the little girls had no socks, no coats (it was cold out) and generally just looked like no one cared about them at all. And we were taking EVERYBODY, so Dad and the big kids could have noticed this when they went out to the car together, surely?

I totally freaked out, yelled at everyone, sent them all into the movie, and drove home to get coats because it would be dark and even colder when they got out of the movie and got in the cold car. Since I went home, I missed the beginning of the movie anyway, so I stayed home and cleaned house for two hours (it was a mess, which probably contributed to my freak-out level), then went back and picked everyone up. I watched the movie when it came out on DVD.

Today, it happened again. I was the last one out to the car for church. Francie was wearing shiny black shoes that only look appropriate with socks (without socks, I think they make her look like a miniature hooker), but she had no socks. Lillie had a tangled bird's nest of hair. She was wearing her pretty Easter dress, but with red Crocs. I didn't find out any of this until we got to church and they got out of the car. Why didn't anyone else notice? I guess Daddy knew about the Crocs, because he said, "Well, she kept walking around the house saying she couldn't find any shoes." I didn't hear her. I was busy.

I put Lillie's hair in a braid with a rubber band from the church office, to hide some of the tangles.

I'm still grumpy.