BUZZWORTHY BEHAVIOR. OR NOT.

As usual, I have not posted lately because, well, there are so many more important things to do, most of them involving gross stuff that I have to clean up and that someone else messes up as soon as I leave the room, enlivened by the occasional bout of trying to figure out what to say to my father the next time he visits and makes a comment about the half-painted living room which has remained half-painted since the last time he stopped by, several weeks ago.

But I will try to take a moment to record this most important part of our lives: Buzzworthy Behavior.

The elementary school has this new Buzzworthy program this year. It's a system of giving kids points for good behavior and taking them away for bad behavior. They try to make it cute by adding little cartoon bees to everything, thus the buzzworthy aspect.

Recently, the kids who had at least a 90% on their behavior points got to have a party at school. I called ahead, found out when the party was to be, and kept Francie home that day.

Lillie has a consistent 100% on her behavior points. Some days she is so good that her Buzzworthiness is reported to the principal, and we get an automated phone call that evening, with a recording reporting to us that Lillie had Buzzworthy Behavior. One day Lillie was so perfect that her Buzzworthy Behavior was reported to the school office TWICE, some sort of record, probably.

Francie, meanwhile, has an 81%. But here's the deal.

These two girls are nine months apart in age. They live in the same house. They eat the same foods, share a room, sleep about the same amount of time, have the same parents and siblings. And I'd be willing to bet that Francie tries just as hard to be good as Lillie. It just doesn't come as easy for her.

The school assumes that we can change a child's behavior by creating a better home environment. Well, I guess we know that it's not the home environment.

The school assumes that a child can change his/her behavior based on getting rewarded for it. Any kid who tries hard enough, can attend that party.

Bah, I say, bah.

What it comes down to is that Francie is being punished for being genetically a louder and more active person than Lillie. It's as simple as that.

I kept her out of school the day of the party, took her to work with me, and took her out to lunch.

Now the school has sent home a note informing us that Field Day, on the last day of school, will be only for those kids with a certain percentage on their behavior points. Field Day, I tell you, Field Day! All kids should get to participate in Field Day on the last day of school. The kid's in first grade, and they are willing to tell her that she might miss Field Day if she's too bad this year? What kind of monsters are running this school, anyway? Geez.

I give the teachers and principal a 0% on their Buzzworthy Empathy Scores. So there.